Cloudburst Based On A True Story

Whilst walking the beach on the mouth of the Motueka River near the Western shore of Tasman Bay, a kayak approached. As it neared, I shit you not, it appeared to have a human-sized gecko at the helm. I rubbed my eyes to confirm and began to self-check my consciousness – Maybe I’m dehydrated? Maybe I ate too many mushrooms? – but by the time I snapped out of it, the gecko was standing in front of me, making intense eye contact, with their palm extended and a single hop cone resting upon it. I took the cone and placed it in my shirt pocket, and without any words exchanged, the gecko began to walk back to their kayak. Just as they were about to paddle away, they turned around and yelled “Did you know, brewing with Motueka hops from Freestyle Farms could save you up to 15% on your hop bill?” UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE. Freestyle Hop Farms hired the sibling of the world famous Geico Insurance gecko to do its field marketing. What a trip! Anyways, please enjoy this IPA with Motueka, Mosaic, Citra